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Life Is Always Forward

"It's better to burn out / Than to fade away / My my, hey hey." - Neil Young

My best bud Doug Hepsworth died on Sunday, September 7, while surfing in the Port Orange area. While sitting out on his board, he felt an air bubble in his chest, like he had to burp, and then he felt tingly; so he rode a wave to the shoreline. He had a massive heart attack as he made his way to shore and collapsed on the beach. Paramedics were summoned and they tried to revive him, but he died en route to Halifax Medical Center. He had been to the doctor a few months ago and everything checked out okay: heart, cholesterol, etc. He complained of BPH a few years ago, a condition for which I "prescribed" Saw Palmetto, zinc supplement, and a multivitamin regimen. He said that the remedy was working. The only chronic ailment he seemed to have was acid reflux, for which he took the little purple pill, but beyond that he was in general good health. I don't know what else to say about this. I miss my friend.

Doug had just retired as a science teacher at Galaxy Middle School in Deltona. He had a nice pension lined up, and plans to surf, fish, ride his motorcycle, and enjoy a healthy life with wife and close family. His retirement party, at his Deltona home in June, was attended by a steady stream of friends for barbeque, drinks, and camaraderie. He had just built a small house behind the main house. He called it the "Doug House," built with a large-screen TV, substantive stereo sound, dart board, billiards table, and some comfortable lounge chairs. Darts isn't a talent of mine, and I only get to play pool every three years or so, but I enjoyed his DVDs of his favorite rock concerts (mostly by bands from the 1970s, in which he seemed still to be stuck).

Both his parents died fairly young—his mother first, sometime after he graduated from Florida Atlantic University. Doug went directly to teaching and coaching in middle school, although I don't think it was called "middle school" then. He did that for 30 years. His father remarried, and the widow still lives. Doug inherited half of his father's auto-parts company and a boat. I remember that boat. His father and mother took us down to Cape Canaveral for one of the Apollo launches. We traveled down the Halifax River and then picked up the Indian River at Ponce Inlet. We were still in high school at the time (our senior year) and we were about a year away from Florida's legal drinking age, but Doug's parents were very progressive and they allowed us to drink as much beer as we wanted. I remember that I slowly, slowly drank at least a six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer from the start of the voyage to the end. By the time we got close enough to view the launch, I was seeing double. I wasn't drunk, or at least I didn't feel that way, but I was definitely seeing double. Although I'm a teetotaler, I can remember this with amazing clarity, and some nostalgia. A few years ago, he took me out on the boat for a daylong fishing trip at a reef off the coast. Here is my catch, which I threw back:

Doug was unhappily married for a very short time to a woman with a Brooklyn accent, but he later married Sandy and they have two children and one grandchild. His marriage to Sandy fell apart sometime before the new millennium, but that was right after my marriage exploded and I returned to Florida after my exile in Louisiana. I think I helped Doug through the rough patches of his breakup. He met and married an exotic younger woman, Kalie, of Hawaiian ancestry. They had a good marriage. I envied his luck and choices. Two years ago, he lost his stepdaughter, Krystle, to a horrible auto accident, and now Kalie has lost both of them.

There wasn't a wake or a funeral. The plan was for him to be cremated and a small group of us would paddle our surfboards into the ocean and release his dusty remains to the sea.¹ This would be followed by a big party on the beach. The ceremony did take place on Sunday, September 14, but someone had to stand in for me. I was in Mandeville, Louisiana, for my number one son's wedding. Ah, the complications. Life is always forward.

1.  Later in life, Doug and I were at really opposite ends of the political spectrum, but we never parted company over God's great power. It doesn't matter whether you are bundled into the ground or burned to dust: God has no problem putting it all back together.